I have always leaned more toward the "fight" side of the "fight or
flight" spectrum. I become irate when I'm terrified. I get genuinely
enraged when I feel intimidated or afraid.
I battle with anxiety on a regular basis, but I didn't link my
predisposition for rage with that element of my mental health until
It felt like a million puzzle pieces had suddenly fallen into place when
I realized that my anxiety and rage are directly related. Since our
fears are closely related to our anxieties, how we personally respond
to fear (i.e., with rage) can also help to understand how we respond
Why does fury represent anxiety?
Anyone who experiences anxiety is familiar with its accompanying
racing thoughts and irrational fear. They are aware of the paralyzing
panic that can strike at any time. They are aware of your aggravation
when neither you nor anybody else seems to grasp your sentiments.
The idea that we are powerless over what is occurring to us is one of
the scariest features of anxiety. Anger is a typical reaction to feeling
out of control. We react violently to or against things that we don't
comprehend or understand, including unpleasant intrusive thoughts,
bodily sensations, other individuals involved in the circumstance,
and, most importantly, ourselves.
Extreme stress brought on by issues at work or in my personal life
makes me want to shout or raise my hands in the air rather than
making me sad or upset. I am quite anxious when I have to argue
with someone, especially those I care about.
So what do I do when my significant other and I are arguing? The
more anxious I become about whether we'll be able to come to an
agreement, the more likely it is that I'll become irrationally angry and
raise my voice during the argument. This is because my panic attacks
peak and my reaction (though admittedly unhelpful) increases in
proportion to the amount of anxiety I feel.
What therefore we ought to do?
For me, the first step is to admit that I have a propensity to turn my
fear into anger.
When I'm experiencing excessive anxiety, taking a step back and
realizing that the pressure of the circumstance has led to rage helps
me understand where these sentiments are genuinely coming from.
Anger is a response to anxiety; for some people, including myself, it
functions almost as a protection mechanism.
In contrast to curling up in a ball of terror, which is frequently what
we actually want to do, anger gives us another way to deal with
anxiety that may make us feel a little less helpless.
I'm not claiming that rage is any better, but realizing where it comes
from has really helped me deal with both my anxiety and my anger.
Take a few deep breaths, write it down, or simply leave the situation
when you start to become frustrated. I am aware that this is easier
said than done. Nevertheless, keep in mind that it is a two-way
street; while feeling angry might be a symptom of worry, suppressing
our anger can also make us feel more nervous.
Use healthy coping mechanisms to manage your anxiety, such as
yoga, meditation, exercise, counseling, or simply reading. If your
anxiety and anger are related, you'll discover that addressing one will
help you deal with the other.